{"id":11073,"date":"2017-07-28T18:17:35","date_gmt":"2017-07-28T16:17:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/leregardlibre.com\/?p=11073"},"modified":"2025-11-09T15:46:56","modified_gmt":"2025-11-09T14:46:56","slug":"blood-sample-no-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/leregardlibre.com\/en\/litterature\/le-sang-extrait-n-5\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00abBlood\u00bb, extract no. 5"},"content":{"rendered":"

Le Regard Libre No. 29 \u2013 S\u00e9bastien Oreiller<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter I: Loss (end)<\/strong><\/p>\n

As he walked home that evening, along the dry edge of the forest, he thought back on the way she had appeared to him\u2014Pauline L****\u2014almost absent, like a specter drawn to life-giving flesh. He knew she was beautiful, still young though already beginning to fade. Yet, as is often the case during that fleeting moment when one meets someone for the first time\u2014and reflects on it afterward\u2014he struggled to make out her features. He saw her from behind, tall, almost as tall as he was, her long blond hair loose. It had a hint of the green or blue of that sea he had never seen, hair that fell in waves down her back, almost to her lower back. Strangely, he saw it loose, even though he was certain she must have tied it up in buns above her head, above her face. That was the image that came to him, and the one he held onto afterward.<\/em><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t want to talk to his mother about it. No, definitely not. He knew she would find out. In fact, she already knew. She asked him where he\u2019d been\u2014without confronting him, almost discreetly, as if she truly trusted him. Ah! He still preferred his father\u2019s blunt brutality, which came crashing down like a storm but didn\u2019t gnaw at him. So he told her the truth by lying to her; he told her he\u2019d gone to help his friend at his father\u2019s bar, that the L**** family\u2019s valet was staying there, and that they were looking for a gardener for the summer. Yes, he knew the reputation these people had; he knew the trouble they\u2019d caused his father, but it was a good offer, and he was going to accept it. The mother couldn\u2019t say a word.<\/em><\/p>\n

My grandfather couldn\u2019t even remember the first time he\u2019d pressed his lips against hers\u2014what they had tasted like, or whether she\u2019d closed her eyes or not. He was a cold man who never took pleasure in anything\u2014not because he didn\u2019t dare, but because every act seemed to have an ultimate end, known only to him, and yet one he never reached. He had agreed to be her lover to recapture his youth\u2014as she had, for that matter\u2014and not to love her. Surely he must have been happy at that moment, happy to be the lover of a great lady\u2014beautiful, to boot\u2014and all the more desirable because she desired no one but him, but that kiss could not have carried within it the seed of the absolute that he sought in everything\u2014barely a seed of dust, that of his own finitude, of skin that withers and desire that fades. Nothing saddened him more than the seeds of death, those beginnings in which he could discern nothing but the hope of their end\u2014his own, above all. Unconsciously, she must have seemed contemptible to him. What a disappointment it was to be loved by her, that frail little thing in search of love, to have to take her in his arms and reassure her, to whisper sweet words in her ears, and then to love her\u2014almost violently in its tenderness\u2014so that she might forget herself. How selfish she was, above all\u2014she who loved only to be loved in return. Not a seed of chaos, not a seed of that abyss that drew him so strongly, and yet which he dreaded. His resentment was born with that kiss on the first day; yet he had to convince himself that he had loved her at first sight. I don\u2019t think, for that matter, that he would have been capable of loving after that; at any rate, not after losing his youth.<\/em><\/p>\n

He loved her for a whole week, on and off, in the shade of the ivy. Docile at first, he imposed his masculine mark on her; he did not let her approach him whenever she wanted, nor even kiss him. He banished her sentimentality, the lingering glances, even the first signs of tenderness that were already taking root as habits. He didn\u2019t want to be her lover, nor even to be the everything that would fill her emptiness. What he wanted was a communion\u2014not so different, in fact, from the one he received at church: rare, fleeting, but one in which man becomes God, eyes closed and on his knees.<\/em><\/p>\n

Their summer afternoons slipped away in the languor of that moment. He must have loved her under the June sun, a selfish embrace made bearable by the breath of the plain\u2014that dry wind that rose, burning toward them, trembling with life and sweat, from the vineyards on the hillsides; that cry of the rocks, which the mountain\u2019s stillness condensed into a warm aura, enveloping them as her body smiled against his. Before their eyes, the river slithered away like a snake.<\/em><\/p>\n

END OF THE LOSS. ARRIVAL OF THE SON.<\/p>\n

Write to the author: sebastien.oreiller@netplus.ch<\/a><\/p>\n

Photo credit: \u00a9 valais.ch<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Le Regard Libre N\u00b0 29 – S\u00e9bastien Oreiller Chapitre I : La Perte (fin) En rentrant chez lui ce soir-l\u00e0,…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":548,"featured_media":9613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20663],"tags":[219270,20707704,1532851,193275253,644340183,550110006,281566],"class_list":["post-11073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-litterature","tag-conte","tag-le-sang","tag-litterature-francophone","tag-litterature-romande","tag-litterature-suisse","tag-litterature-valaisanne","tag-valais"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n\u00abLe Sang\u00bb, extrait n\u00b0 5<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/leregardlibre.com\/en\/literature\/blood-sample-no-5\/\" \/>\n<meta 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