«Girassol», the testimony of a hypersensitive man

Tuesday books - Aude Robert-Tissot

Julien Gonzalez-Alonso's first book, Girassol, gravitates between two central themes, art and love, and is the autobiography of a hypersensitive man discovering his wounds. In the face of the proliferation of self-help books, this book is the perfect example of an authentic story with which the reader can identify, and possibly feel better, far from thinking positive thoughts at all costs.

Who hasn't read, or at least been tempted by, one of the books that are flourishing in our favorite bookshops, with enticing titles such as Am I hypersensitive? or The power of the present moment, Is meditation the answer to all our woes and neuroses? While some of these books are written by psychiatrists, praising disciplines such as meditation with scientific evidence to back them up, others - and there are many - are written by wellness enthusiasts who promise to heal our psyches by giving us the keys to better manage our lives and finally achieve happiness.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are books by anonymous authors, with mysterious titles and publishing houses. Such is the case with the first book by Julien Gonzalez-Alonso, who runs Editions du Griffon (Neuchâtel), an enthusiastic and enlightened art dealer. It may seem pretentious for an author to publish his own book, or on the contrary, courageous. Once the book is finished, we quickly turn to the second option.

Julien is a breathless art dealer with a thirst for spirituality. He turns to a former love with whom he broke off abruptly after long years of suffering, a toxic relationship with a pattern he unfortunately knows all too well. Add to this the context of the pandemic and the confinement, and Julien finally decides to write the story of his life, in order to heal, rebuild himself, understand his failures through writing, and thus try to approach an inner and, above all, relational balance. The form of his autobiographical story - the second person singular - allows him to express himself in his own way.’This is particularly true when he's dealing with a childhood trauma.

Some psychologists would describe Julien as «hypersensitive»: heightened emotions, hyperempathy... some of them. coaches would even say that they are endowed with a power, that they possess a gift. This is how the authors of self-help books address their gifted readers, while taking them for happy imbeciles, as if human complexity could be reduced to positive injunctions. Julien, for his part, seeks to heal himself, or at least to understand his failures, through the introspection that comes with writing his life story. It's then up to us, the readers, to find some answers to our wounds or patterns, this time by turning towards others, identifying with personal stories of universal power, such as that of Girassol.

If Julien is a sensitive man, he is above all a modest one. Far from wanting to revolutionize literature, he simply needed to write his story. A first book with a few clumsinesses, but one that touches us with its sincerity and courage to open up without pretense, through beautiful and profound reflections.

«You may think that my confession about my life and our relationship shows how unstable I am. That the duality of my consciousness - the one I had before and the one I now have - complicates the relationship we'll have in the future. As far as I'm concerned, that's not the case. The only person I wanted to explore was myself! I hadn't yet taken the time to ask myself if I lived in love? There was only one possible answer: yes or no. I asked myself that question. I asked myself this question as soon as I started writing. Obviously, I had to answer it in order to move forward. All I had to do was open my heart to let my intentions shine, and stop being ephemeral and greedy. In the end, the deliverance I needed to regain my equilibrium came from drawing all the answers from within myself, to shed light on those dark areas I hadn't yet changed.»

Write to the author: aude.robert-tissot@leregardlibre.com

Photo credit: DR

Book cover photograph: Paul Rousteau

Julien Gonzalez-Alonso
Girassol
Editions du Griffon
2021
230 pages

Order the book