Some reasons (more or less good) not to abolish the army

The army, a perennial topic of discussion in Switzerland, is once again at the forefront of the media scene, due to budget debates. Here are some arguments you may not have thought of yet in favor of maintaining this unique militia.

1. No army, no sovereignty. Imagine for a moment a group of people all armed with a stick and wearing a helmet, with the exception of one who is not fortunate enough to have such equipment. This would be the situation, all other things being equal, of a Switzerland without an army in a world where (almost) all states have them: deprived. If sovereignty is defined as the ability of a state to chart its own course, it goes without saying that having an army is a sine qua non condition.

2. No army, no fighter planes. Without fighter jets, there's no air policing. And without air policing, there's no air sovereignty: anyone, from foreign tourists in pleasure planes to armed military jets from neighboring countries, can violate your airspace without being bothered. And whatever the advocates of certain «cheap» or «more ecological» alternatives may say, air policing worthy of the name can only be provided by supersonic fighter jets, without which any intruder will have plenty of time to circle Switzerland three times in the air before possibly being stopped.

3. Just as important: no army, no diplomatic credibility. A country without an army is at the mercy of all outside intimidation. In Switzerland's case, this is not called «armed neutrality» for nothing. In a world where armed conflict is a reality, whether we like it or not, only those who agree to play the same game as everyone else stand a small chance of playing a role other than that of mere spectator.

4. We sometimes forget: the army also teaches every man how to tie a tie. Despite incessant attacks on the - now suspect - difference between the sexes and the social habits associated with it, the tie is still part of the masculine wardrobe par excellence. Anyone who wants or needs to wear one is usually faced with the problem of tying the knot, a problem that every recruit in the Swiss army has to overcome when putting on his «A» outfit, or going-out outfit. This operation is generally repeated two or three times a week during the 18 weeks of recruit school. Enough to get the hang of it.

5. And perhaps most importantly: without an army, there's less laughter. Switzerland, with its rather boring reputation, would be even more so if we took away the reasons it has to laugh at itself. And in this respect, the army undoubtedly outshines all its competitors. To take just two examples: who hasn't laughed at the press cartoons about the army? How many people in French-speaking Switzerland have never heard of «Lieutenant-Colonel Karl-Heinz Inäbnit, deputy commander of the Bure military base», as portrayed by Vincent Kuchol on RTS? Very few, no doubt.

Write to the author: antoine.bernhard@leregardlibre.com

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