The frustration machine8 reading minutes

Le Regard Libre N° 51 - Giovanni F. Ryffel

Does being impatient save time? Algorithms developed to understand highway queues seem to say no; some business leaders seem to say yes. If, on the one hand, impatience is spontaneously linked to saving time, on the other, it conceals profound links with our perception of ourselves and the world, which are not just a matter of psychology.

The good thing about the consumer society is that even its enemies can come out on top from time to time. We often hear that we live in a society that pushes us to go faster and faster, but whether you're impatient or contemplative, you can find something to enjoy. For example, the book market offers us a plethora of good manuals, and there really is something for everyone. We buy books that teach us to stoically resist the stresses of modern life, like new masters. zen, from books encouraging us to «say no», to «assert ourselves», to teaching people who would have been more peaceful by nature to become veritable narcissists and perverts in the making... but, of course, it's only to survive your boss and show off all your potential!

There's something for every taste and color, and some of these recipes are undoubtedly interesting, even effective. But self-help books are just one indication of a wider phenomenon: it would seem that, as a collective, we're in quite a hurry to get something, but each to his or her own. For the supply is varied, because the demands are. It's fair and even encouraging that everyone has projects, passions to develop and wants to know how to get there. What's striking is that we hope to achieve this by manuals It's as if we didn't have the time to really learn what we want. Not all of us are impatient, yet this trend seems to be becoming a widespread phenomenon.

I want it now, because I'm worth it!

A society that pushes us to speed up? Maybe it's not all that untrue. In recent years, there have been some very well-done studies on the psychological effects of new communications technologies, which are characterized by giving us faster access to an immensity of services and information. But perhaps that's not the most fundamental point. We're not just generally more impatient because «the world is moving faster», but because we're increasingly spoiled. You don't have to look too far into psychological studies to see that there's a direct link between impatience and pride. The impatient person is, as the etymology says, someone who doesn't know how to suffer, not someone who doesn't know how to wait. The latter is only a side-effect of a much deeper cause. If my mind is the most important thing, chances are I can't bear to have my plans changed.

It used to be said that pride was a sin, even the father of all sins, because if you're proud, you can get away with anything. Today, we've come out of moralism in many ways: we know how to recognize that at the root of certain apparently arrogant behaviors lie childhood wounds. The word «pride» has almost disappeared from our vocabularies. However, we still recognize arrogant attitudes. This is why we live in a time when many are looking for an «ethic» to live «happily». We can multiply yoga and mindfulness, Without giving pride a name, we risk remaining perpetual adolescents in the face of our emotions. As «hidden» teenagers, we'll always see ourselves as the center of the world. We'll want it all, and we'll want it now. It won't be difficult to flatter our more or less wounded pride. 

Is it a coincidence that Apple encourages us to «think differently» when we all have to buy the same product? If Adidas teaches us that «impossible is nothing»? And certainly by putting on these sneakers I'm going to break the barriers of what's possible! In a world where we no longer know what pride is, it has become a model for life. «Don't be better than your boss: be as big an asshole as he is», expressed one of the first sentences of an Italian course on self-esteem. All this implicitly communicates that it's the strongest who wins. And it's true, it's the proudest who know how to make their way in this jungle. But this pride benefits those who have already tasted the exhilaration of good fortune. For those at the bottom of the wheel, pride is merely a weakness to be exploited. Their impatience is just the promise of a new market.

A perfect example of this phenomenon comes from the world of cosmetics. L'Oréal has been selling its products since the 1970s, enabling every woman to say «because I'm worth it». The sentence is incomplete. To complete it, beauty cream or shampoo, of course. Now that we can buy it, we can finally access that self-care we never had... because we're worth it. Thus, a slogan that was intended as a word of feminist rebellion, in the intention of the woman who invented it, was finally redigested by the dynamics of marketing. The result is an effective slogan, designed to flatter the individual and maximize sales rather than incite him to fight for his rights. The masculine declination of this technique is evident in the world of cars, which promise every man to be all-powerful, different, to explore whatever he wants. By convincing us to be the most beautiful and the As the boldest and strongest of giants, we're actually exploiting our weaknesses: pride we don't know we have, and weaknesses we hide.

What a waste of time to be impatient!

So it's not easy to break free from the gentle shackles of those who promise us access to paradise the next day by simply exchanging a sum of money. The individualism that has worried sociologists for the past few decades is merely the collective reflection of a highly targeted strategy. Not that advertisers do this in bad faith. Quite simply: it works. If you tell your customer he's smart, he won't dare give the impression otherwise by buying a poor-quality product when you've assured him of the wonders of yours. A golden rule for a job interview is not to bore the listener with stories about yourself. Instead, flatter him! Let's all flatter each other. This is the new commandment from the god of success.

Even the most stoic will find it hard to resist this temptation. Books like The Benoît Option where we preach a return to the plough and a slower pace, it's too hard for us. Not because returning to nature is physically difficult, but because it requires us to step aside. In craft work, like working the land, people's tasks overlap. We have to help each other. Is it beautiful? Maybe, but there's no time to recognize what you've done that's special and unique. It's all about joining forces. And that means giving up on yourself, on being noticed, on being heard. It teaches patience because it teaches suffering.

There's nothing more unbearable than not being listened to when you want to be! Nothing harder than resisting. So it's quite clear that our consumerist world is preferable to us, despite its faults. Each and every one of us can enjoy it, if only for a moment now and then. It's such an intense pleasure that we can't do without it, even if it means living in the dream of being someone when you're behind a screen in some office. But if we manage to shine for a moment, what satisfaction! How can we stand the others? It's not that we don't have the time. It's that we don't can if we want to achieve our goals. And yet, without the slow, painstaking, anonymous work of learning, how can we hope to «become somebody»? Do we dream of being a great business leader? A famous filmmaker? A peerless singer or painter? How can I hope to achieve this without the thousands of hours of hard work, mistakes and painful corrections I have to go through before I can even ask myself the question?

The impatient one will give up the fight very quickly. He'll drop them all, because if he wants to be good right away, he'll only suffer defeat. All he can do is reap frustration. If we really want to be admired, we have better time to become ascetics of pride and to plan our work over several years. The impatient person has pride, but he doesn't follow through on his logic, because he doesn't give himself the means to be admired in a lasting way. This is an arduous task when the whole of society is the collective expression of such a spoiled, impatient type of subject. The society of the spectacle, as Guy Debord called it: it promises greatness at low cost to each and every one of its members, relying on our natural thirst for recognition. A thirst that must be constantly fed, by subtly caressing our ego. But the massive consumption it delivers in exchange is not capable of enable us. Able to endure defeat, able to rise again, able to reach our goals on our own. We are doomed to disappointment if we expect it to evolve, because the consumer machine is ultimately a machine of frustration.

Write to the author: giovanni.ryffel@leregardlibre.com