«Aquaman»: Where the American actors' makeup is water-resistant

Cinema Wednesdays - Jonas Follonier

Aquaman tells the story of a superhero destined to become the king of the seven seas. This umpteenth work referencing Atlantis is an artistic failure, but it fulfills its role as entertainment.

The new movie from Warner Bros. is sure to bring plenty of smiles: packed with references to other superhero movies—as if that genre hadn't already been (over)exploited—here comes’Aquaman presents us with a gentleman hyper-played by Jason Momoa (Khal Drogo in the series Game of Thrones), the son of the Queen of Atlantis and a lighthouse keeper, endowed with powers super-aquatic. Super.

But the movie certainly deserves credit for embracing its crappiness: we’re mainly here to have a laugh, to have a good time. Huge, ugly monsters? You want ’em, you got ’em! Stunning CGI that makes us forget our gray, exhilarating daily lives? Here you go! Lines that border on the reverse genius of song lyrics in today’s music industry? You don’t want ’em, but here they are anyway. For those who love action—that paradoxical phenomenon where, ironically, nothing happens, or at least nothing interesting—they’ll be well-served, too.

There’s no denying that this type of movie succeeds in entertaining its audience. That said, there are still a few unforgivable mistakes worth pointing out. Did you notice them in the trailer—those American-style faces, smoothed out, made up, tanned, surgically altered, digitally enhanced, stereotypical, appearing against a crimson sun and not losing their waxy appearance even when underwater? No, enough is enough.

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But it gets even worse. The clichés that the film seems aware it’s perpetuating, without ever putting them into perspective or exaggerating them in a zany way: a romance set in Sicily, a kiss in the middle of a battle, the status of an unloved superhero, and self-made-man... It would be possible to create entertainment while offering something new. But we're dealing here with people - filmmakers or financiers - who like to surf on a microwave. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the realm of Hollywood ridicule, weighing in at no less than $940 million and 143 long minutes for this film alone.

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Photo credit: © Warner Bros