The art of taking a rake

The journalist delivers a message in each of her columns. This month, she argues for the acceptance of rejection in love, not as a humiliation to be overcome, but as a necessary apprenticeship to respect and dignity in relationships.

Taking a rake hurts. «Marianne, I don't love you, I love Lola, so now stop being such a show-off.» I still remember this sentence, once uttered by my 8-year-old classmate. «Yes, I know, you have the right to love whoever you want,» I mumbled, trying to keep a straight face. But as soon as I got home, I was crying my eyes out under my bed.

This painful reframing taught me a lot: I had just realized that I couldn't force a boy to like me. Even by deluding myself, even by waiting for him to change his mind about me, even by trying to