«Fucking Stroke! an indispensable and touching testimonial

Tuesday books - Hélène Lavoyer

A powerful title, in which the anger and frustration that follow a stroke shine through. Shaken by the event that transformed his energetic wife, who remained «joyful, happy, courageous, often beyond reason», Simon Roger-Vermot's diary, written during the weeks spent at his wife's bedside or in the corridors and waiting rooms of care institutions, provides an account of the experience imposed by a loved one suffering a stroke.

«Stroke strikes like lightning, unpredictable, brutal. It divides life into a ‘‘after the stroke’’ who will never be the same again. ‘‘before the stroke’’.» 

The declaration of love that opens the story, an ode to sweetness and, above all, to the luminous Céline, introduces the reader with ease to the family universe that Simon and Céline have created with four hands; it takes us briefly into Céline's personality and endears her to us, making her sparkle in our minds. Until the announcement of February 27, a Sunday, which neither Simon Roger-Vermot (the author) nor his son Michel will be able to erase from their memories.

«Her name is Céline. She's my flower, my compass, my sun. The one without whom my life wouldn't be worth living. Persian eyes, adorable figure, drop-dead gorgeous. At once mischievous and loving, generous and terribly endearing, she sows happiness and joie de vivre, attentive to the well-being of her own, her family and even others, without ever demanding anything in return...»

Proof of just how incomprehensible a stroke can be is the detailed description of the late morning when, after getting the purring cat off his lap, he finds his wife panting on the kitchen floor, a bleeding wound on her forehead. Unable to respond, she can't make him understand what's going on, and he, pleasant as he is, can't think of a serious problem. This is the curse of stroke, the signs of which - difficulty speaking, paralysis of the face or one side of the body, spontaneous laughter, headaches and balance problems - are little known.

If human beings are what you seek to discover through your reading, the simplest, closest humanity, then Fucking stroke will pull you out of your daily routine with its empathetic outlook. Pull you out of it or, for those who have lived through a stroke and suffered its consequences, plunge you back in, feeling again all the advances and hopes, the setbacks and frustrations often intensely experienced by both the stroke victim and those close to him or her. Roger-Vermot's spontaneous writing shows us how, in such situations, a simple, successful swallow can bring the greatest happiness.

«I tell her all sorts of things and also encourage her to fight, that I want her to come home to me, that I miss her terribly. It seems to me that she understands what I'm saying. More than the other times. [...] She has a look in her eyes that I can't quite describe, but I can see a lot of love in it...»

«I turn on the TV to distract her... She's trying to tell me something again. But it's terrible not to understand. I see her face darken, then smile sadly at me. [...] In the elevator, my body shakes with spasms and my eyes tear up.»

Occupational therapists, nurses, neurologists, physiotherapists, doctors... The list of people involved with a patient suffering the after-effects of a stroke is a long one, and communication between them and loved ones can sometimes descend into confusion or anger. For this and many other reasons, both emotional and rational, Simon Roger-Vermot's honest book is a wonderful discovery, despite the lack of work on the writing, which ultimately becomes its strength.

Simon Roger-Vermot
Fucking stroke
Editions Slatkine
2018
100 pages

Write to the author : helene.lavoyer@leregardlibre.com

Photo credit: © Hélène Lavoyer for Le Regard Libre