«La petite dernière»: choosing to be tirelessly between two poles

Tuesday books - Lauriane Pipoz

Fatima Daas's partly autobiographical novel came out at the end of last year. In it, the young author recounts fragments of her life through astonishing fiction. Between sex and Islam, love of women and of her family, this first story is a ticking time bomb.

Fatima Daas, a 25-year-old French author of Algerian origin, already has the makings of a great author. Her first book, The latest addition, is breathtaking. This book, written in «I» and which she has chosen to describe as a novel, also tells her own story. We learn about her childhood, teenage conflicts, friendships, loves - and, above all, trouble. For Fatima Daas - a pseudonym - is a Muslim and a lesbian. And she reserves the right not to choose. Because she doesn't want to, and has no choice.

A split book

Each of the short chapters begins in the same way. The author recalls her first name and reveals something related to it. The story of her birth, the etymology of her name, her relationship with religion... The same angles, which announce the themes of the chapters, sometimes recur. The narrative is non-linear, looping around a number of subjects, from sexuality to schooling, giving the impression that it is fragmented. The author returns to several subjects, as if she needed to put them down on paper several times to externalize them:

«My name is Fatima Daas. I write stories to avoid living my own.»

The hammering of her name, often accompanied by a remark about her being a «sinner», gives the same impression. Why does this idea haunt her in such a way? Fatima has a culturally-charged first name and feels she should pay tribute to it. But she feels she's sullying it by sinning.

«My name is Fatima. I'm named after a symbolic figure in Islam. A name that must be honored. A name I have dishonored.»

What sin are we talking about? Female homosexuality. Not really described as such in the Koran, but considered as such by men of faith and Fatima Daas's mother, whom she consulted. The hammering of her first name at the beginning of each chapter is also reminiscent of prayers: faith is an integral part of this story. Unlike sex, which is never dealt with head-on. Certainly a remnant of Puritanism and her father's upbringing, admits the feminist.

Internal violence that turns against others

But beyond faith and the recommendations of those around her, she can't stop seeing women, because it's part of who she is. What she considers a sin gives rise to great hatred. A disgust and violence that she takes out on others, as she reports in what is certainly the strongest action in her story: tripping one of her classmates, insulting him on the grounds of his homosexuality.

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«It's a way of punishing herself through him and continuing to hate herself, because she's deeply ashamed of who she is. Seeing this young boy assume his femininity, his homosexuality, drives her crazy. Because she thinks she has to silence her desire, and because she carries this violence deep inside her,» she explains on France Inter. 

A book that can be hard to grasp, yet extremely touching and addictive. Through personal themes and a singular style, the author manages to put us in her shoes. Those of a person who «doesn't fit in, who always feels out of place, out of her life, out of place». Behind this very particular story lies the universal tale of a person torn between two identities. a priori and won't choose. Because she can't and won't. An invitation to choose to be oneself without compromise.

Write to the author: lauriane.pipoz@leregardlibre.com

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