«Amori», ma per favore!

Cinema Wednesdays - Loris S. Musumeci

«Rather than get back together with you, I'd rather kill myself.»

Claudia and Flavio fall in love. Or rather, it's Claudia, an overexcited and sentimental literature professor, who falls in love with Flavio, also a literature professor. Love at first sight occurs at a university conference. «I think I've fallen in love with you,» she tells him quickly in their first tête-à-tête in a restaurant. Surprised, Flavio allows himself to be seduced.

But the relationship quickly devolves into what you might call psychosis. She wants to get married, she wants a child; she wakes her partner up in the middle of the night to tell him this over and over again; she cries for two hours; she runs off into the countryside. And it’s the same story every night. The poor girl seems truly distraught. Naturally, this toxic relationship comes to an end. They both go back to their own lives, each on their own, yet never forgetting one another, never truly happy.

Stupid and pointless

You have to admit that the song Testaccio by Marcello Murru, featured in one scene of the film, is quite pleasant to listen to. It’s also easy to agree that the landscapes of the Roman countryside are sublime, with their cypress trees, fields of poppies, and pale yellow sunlight that bathes them in a very special glow. And that’s that. Everything positive that could be said about Amori- Loves That Can't Find Their Place in the World is the full title—it was said.

Besides, the director, Francesca Comencini, doesn’t have much to do with it. At most, she pointed her camera at landscapes that command the viewer’s attention, and she may have good taste in music. Yet the daughter of the excellent Luigi Comencini—who is an integral part of the great history of Italian cinema—may not be entirely without talent. She co-directed the hit series about the Neapolitan mafia Gomorrah – The Series who is successful and comes across rather well. But Amori is, unfortunately, stupid and pointless. Going to see it is a guaranteed waste of time.

Please!

While not entirely reassuring, the opening doesn’t yet foreshadow the disaster the film will very quickly become. Claudia’s character is almost endearing before she becomes unbearable. The opening scene featuring a hysterical woman in the throes of anxiety and the scene—also early on—in the restaurant where they actually talk to each other for the first time aren’t very funny, but they might, at a stretch, elicit a small smile. More successful is the scene of the nighttime crisis: «—We’ve ruined our lives! —Yeah, okay, but I need to sleep now.» That one, yes, makes you laugh. But you have to admit that three more or less funny moments for a so-called comedy is not much, is it?

And yet, laughter shouldn’t be a criterion. The problem is that not only does the film lack humor entirely, but on top of that, it’s not at all interesting; it quickly becomes boring, and even more tedious still; it’s annoying, of course; it’s an embarrassment to women, Italy, and cinema; and it’s extremely vulgar. «Ma per favore!» is what Italians would say to express their disdain for such a feature film.

At times, the director’s imagination seems to kick back into gear. Perhaps because she herself is bored during filming. So at certain points in the film, we witness botched eroticism or pathetic pornography featuring people in their fifties who struggle a bit in theact because of their age and let out little cries that sound more like those from hospital beds than from marital beds.

Of course, we had to include in the masterpiece that is Amori A lesbian love scene. It’s not entirely clear what it’s doing there—it doesn’t really make sense—but hey, it’s always better to include one; you never know, it might come in handy. Plus, it looks good. It feels modern and incredibly bold in an Italy that is, unfortunately, still horribly patriarchal, conservative, and Catholic—which, incidentally, isn’t even true anymore. «Ma per favore!»

The Heterocapitalist Economy

Let’s not forget, either, that we’re dealing with a romantic-feminist comedy. So the brave Francesca Comencini and her sharp wit, taking their mission to heart, take matters into their own hands and deliver a magnificent lesson in black-and-white feminism in a university lecture hall where Claudia and Flavio teach. There, they explain beautiful and edifying theories such as that of «hetero-capitalist economics.» According to the young professor teaching this fictional course, «in the sex market» women age much faster than men, and that’s unfair. It’s all fantastic! Thus, the film demonstrates with relentless logic that women are constantly frustrated sex beasts. And yes, because we’re also told that they never orgasm with a man. «Ma per favore!»

And then, since Claudia is a cultured woman, we must indulge in a eulogy to literature—one of incredible mediocrity: the so-called great teacher’ highlights a few clichés that Italian women will be able to read this summer on the beach in the celebrity magazine Chi, equivalent to the Here is French-speaking. In addition, a small student revolt is brewing at the university for about two minutes. Why? We don’t know. In any case, thank goodness the script has Claudia utter some very original exhortations, such as: «You must fight to have your rights respected.» «Ma per favore!»

There are other absurdities and blunders worth pointing out, but the film is already its own critique; there’s no need to heap more on it. Out of courtesy and in the spirit of’italianità, it’s best to leave it at that and look forward to Comencini’s next film, which is sure to be even better.

«You'll see, this time I'll be happy.»

Write to the author : loris.musumeci@leregardlibre.com

Photo credit: © Xenix Film